It has been a bit quiet of late from the Man Cave. But I emphasise, it has not been quiet in the Man Cave. I got back from an extended trip to the Far East and Australia a couple of weeks ago – referred to in my most recent Caveman column – but the job of keeping Mrs Watson in the style to which she has become accustomed takes its toll. I got back to an empty house while she was off gallivanting in Washington DC, with one of our daughters who currently lives in Missouri. It all costs money and I seem to be the source of that. Still, I have little else to do.
It ain’t half hot Mum
In case you were not aware, there is a heatwave in the United Kingdom now. It must be bad as ‘Andy’ Burnham, our cuddly new Prime Minister, called an ‘emergency’ meeting of COBRA to discuss it. Are they all not ‘emergency’ meetings? But I guess that is just the BBC throwing its weight behind the climate emergency agenda – as usual. I used to work in Saudi Arabia regularly where at this time of year temperatures soar (apologies for the rhetoric) to fifty degrees Celsius. Remarkably, they just seem to get on with it.
Of course, in places like Saudi Arabia and Hong Kong – where I spent a hot and sticky monsoon week before going to Australia – they have this marvellous invention called air-conditioning. Now, if we had that here on a more widespread basis, we would probably cope better with the heat than we do. I must admit that our house is unbearable at the moment, though my garden office (which has air-conditioning) is wonderful.
But arseholes like Sadiq Khan, who runs London (into the ground), are having it ripped out of houses where it is fitted and, I imagine, due to some panic about energy use and carbon emissions, other authorities will follow suit. Thus, we are almost certainly going to be deprived, wholesale, of the one thing that would make heatwaves bearable. I could make this stuff up, but nobody would believe me.
My own civic authority, I am glad to report, is at the forefront of the climate change agenda, spending millions of pounds of our money tackling it. A modern building that is not yet 40 years old which Hull City Council describe as The Treasury Building, is being decanted in order that modifications can be made to make the building more ‘green’. According to the Hull Daily Mail (all the news that’s fit to ignore) the work will include, ‘new windows, a new heating and cooling system, as well as energy-efficient lighting and photovoltaic panels.’ In case you are wondering, those are ‘solar panels’ but ‘photovoltaic’ sounds so much better. This is all going to be possible at the bargain price of £5.5 million so, by the time Hull City Council get back into The Treasury Building there may not be all that much left in the treasury.
Boy (or girl) done well
I don’t mind watching the occasional race, but my wife remains glued to any athletics that are on television. Currently the 2026 European Athletics Championships are being held in Birmingham and I am sick of them. Not the running, you understand, but the commentary. It is something to do with the terrible combination of faux excitement and the appalling grammar.
The shrill commentary on the track events reaches fever pitch in every race. It is almost as if we can’t see what is happening for ourselves. Then the grammar! The persistent use of adjectives instead of adverbs as in: ‘he did splendid’; ‘he did awesome’; and ‘she did magnificent’ and variations thereof is as grating as trying to grate Parmesan cheese. Did these people miss out on education? Do they have no training by the BBC to speak proper(ly)? Does nobody pull them up afterwards, or would that be considered a micro-aggression?
The fragrant Gabby Logan, who anchors the evening show, does seem to be able to speak without making use of these ungrammatical clichés, but she has to sit and listen to at least a couple of Dames of The Realm spout bollocks. Where is Gary Lineker when we need him? He may be a shyster, but he always corrected Mark Lawrenson’s grammar. In fact, he done great.
Roger Watson is a retired academic, editor and writer. He writes regularly for a range of conservative journals including The Salisbury Review and The European Conservative. He has travelled and worked extensively in the Far East and the Middle East. He lives in Kingston upon Hull, UK. His Substack can be found here.
